Seeking to expand my perception and alter my conscious I recently took a mind trip with the help of Lucy of the diamond sky fame. I had tripped a bit as a teenager and had opened my eyes and significantly influenced my life since the. That was a half a century ago. Now, as an old dude but still growing, seeking and exploring, I wandered what such a journey might go.
The results were inconclusive and seemed mostly internal in nature. The onset of the trip started with a general feeling of displacement. I had trouble keeping warm despite it being a July warm day. As it intensified it felt like most of the synapses in my nervous system were going off at the same time. Then I started to cry quite a bit. Next I seemed to be doing some deep grieving. The next day, I felt completely burned out and weary.
It was a trip like no other I’ve ever experienced. For one, I didn't hallucinate. I would ordinarily chalk that up to a weak dose but the total effect of the experience was definitely not weak.
I’ll be watching to see if it affected any underlying change. Right now, I'm thinking that I'm grieving (healing) from the compound effects of divorce, knee trauma, and loss of a beloved sailboat. Events that happened one right after another. This work, this grieving/healing seems to be functioning on a subconscious and or body memory level, it's so visceral and deep. It doesn't seem to be cognitive in nature, at lest not consciously so. I've mentally come to terms with all three events and truly believe that all of them, each and every one, turned out for the best. But still...I must need more practice in letting go.
